[谐趣网文]女人

　　If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
　　如果你亲她，那你就没有绅士风度
　　If you dont, you are not a man
　　可是如果你不亲她，那你就不算男子汉！
　　If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
　　如果你赞美她，她会认为你只是在奉承她
　　If you dont, you are good for nothing
　　但要是你不赞美她，那你就一无是处了！
　　If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing
　　如果你对她的话完全同意，那她就会　的像二五八万
　　If you dont, you are not understanding
　　要是你不同意，那就表示你根本不了解
　　If you make romance, you are an experienced man
　　假如你把气氛控制的很浪漫，你就一定是情场老手
　　If you dont you are half a man
　　如果不是，那你根本还不够成熟
　　If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring
　　如果你太常去找她，她会觉得烦腻
　　If you dont, she accuses you of double crossing
　　但是如果你不去找她，她会责备你欺骗她的感情
　　If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
　　你要是穿的帅一点，她会说你是花花公子
　　If you dont, you are a dull boy
　　穿的破烂点，那你又是笨头笨脑的家伙
　　If you are jealous, she says its bad
　　如果你吃醋，她会说这样是不对的
　　If you dont , she thinks you do not love her
　　可是如果你完全不吃醋，她又会认为你根本不爱她
　　If you attempt a romance, she says you didnt respect her
　　你如你试图对她调情，她会认为你不尊重她
　　If you dont, she thinks you do not like her
　　但要是你一直规规矩矩的，她又会觉得你不喜欢她
　　If you are a minute late, she complains its hard to wait
　　你若是迟到一分钟，她会抱怨等的多累多苦
　　If she is late, she says thats a girls way
　　要是她自己迟到了，她会说女孩子约会迟到是理所当然的
　　If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel
　　如果你去找你的朋友，她会说你像跟屁虫
　　If she is visited by another, oh its natural, we are girls
　　如果是她，她会说喔，这很自然啊，女孩子都是这样
　　If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
　　如果你飞快的吻她一下，她会到处说你这人很冷漠
　　If you kiss her too many, she yells that you are taking advantage
　　如果你吻太多了，她会大叫说你吃她豆腐
　　If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
　　如果你过马路的时候没有照顾她，那你这人缺乏道德
　　If you do, she thinks its just one of the mans tactics
　　要是你小心照顾她过马路，她又会说这是男人的花招
　　If you stare at other, she accuses you of flirting
　　你若是凝视某个女人，她会指责你是到处对女生调情
　　If she is stared by others, she says that they are just admiring
　　如果是其他男人瞪著她看，她会说他们只是欣赏而已
　　If you talk, she wants you to listen
　　如果你跟她说话，她希望你只要听就好
　　If you listen, she wants you to talk
　　如果你只倾听，她又要你跟她说话
　　Oh God! you created those creature called WOMAN
　　上天啊，你创照了这些叫做女人的生物
　　So simple, yet so complex
　　既简单又复杂
　　So weak, yet so powerful
　　如此柔弱，却又如此强悍
　　So confusing, yet so desirable
　　让人又恼又爱
　　O LORD, tell me what to do. AMEN
　　神啊，请告诉我该怎麽做。阿门！